The Real Housewives franchise started as a modest examination into the absurdities of the quotidian lives of the upper class — a little bit Desperate Housewives, a little bit Laguna Beach, with a lot of glam in between. We are now almost 20 years in and the brand is bigger than ever, but there are only so many more Scary Islands or chaotic slumber parties we can have. This has put Bravo in a tenuous position: Now that the Housewives are more self-aware than ever, how do we find a new way to tell the same stories? While producers have struggled to come up with an answer to this nagging issue, across the franchises they seem to be trying something new, which is breaking the fourth wall in strategic and calculated ways.
Some of the choices are more subtle. Take the long-simmering civil war between Karen and Mia, which finally came to a head last episode. Karen declared open conflict with Mia and Jacqueline, laying out all the inconsistencies in Mia’s storytelling that leave the group frustrated while Ashley was in the back hallway frantically turning her Anastasia Beverly Hills contour stick into a semblance of five-o’-clock shadow. It was a calculated attack with a clear point: You are exploiting our emotions, and it’s not okay. Mia naturally responded with hostility, reminding us that the person demanding transparency from the group is a known drunk and adulterer, while Jacqueline feebly added that Gordon is a known liar. Touché on both points, but that doesn’t erase the inconsistency of her actions.
What sets the gears in motion, however, is not simply the conflict but the choices the women make after the information is revealed. Wendy, Ashley, and Gizelle make their position obvious at the outset: They are upset and disgusted with Mia and plan on standing by Karen. Gizelle explicitly says she feels “bamboozled,” a word reserved for single moms in MLMs. Karen is aghast at the defamation of character, a claim she will come to regret shortly. Mia insists that despite being paid to film her life on-camera, she doesn’t need to be around anyone who questions her choices as a mom, a delusion of the highest order. Keiarna is mildly taken aback by the intensity of the argument, feeling that everything is going too far. Stacey, however, is fully aghast at the ambush, insisting it was inappropriate and mean-spirited. She is correct on both points, but, baby, welcome to reality television.
What follows is the women openly picking sides and filming accordingly. Ashley, Gizelle, and Karen get together with Keiarna, in part to support Keiarna as she continues to suffer through her highly incompatible relationship but also to make it clear that they’re all standing together as a unit against Mia. Stacey, however, chooses to be a maverick, adding a wrinkle to the planned takedown by sending out invites to participate in her charity event, a showcase modeling dogs for adoption that we all know by the trailer will end in a poop-laden fiasco. And while she’s unprepared for reprisals from the other women, she’s more than ready to spar over it.
Karen declines to participate, miffed that Stacey chose to protect Mia in her attempted takedown, retaliation she did not see coming. Despite Stacey’s attempts to stagger her fittings, Gizelle storms into Vivien’s showroom to inform Stacey that she will not participate in the event — coming up with the thinnest lie possible by claiming she has dog trauma — and the retaliation is clear on both ends. Gizelle is letting Stacey know she crossed a line, and Stacey is not entertaining it. Wendy attempts to throw Stacey a bone, offering that she could be remorseful for taking a stance apart from Karen to minimize this pushback, but she refuses the olive branch. Why should she need to clear Vivien with Karen when she knew Vivien before Karen ever heard of her? Why would she have contributed to Gizelle’s GNA event when Gizelle kicked her out before she could so much as sit down? It is a frank challenge to the cast: Why should Stacey adhere to the conceit of the show when it doesn’t match the circumstances in real life, all to placate Karen and reject Mia? Instead of taking the pushback lying down, she chooses to retaliate accordingly, making plans to sit down with Mia and kick the pretense behind the frivolous alliances wide open.
Mia is too busy trying to ride her lies until the wheels fall off to be invested in the drama around Stacey’s event. She calls Gordon on speaker, attempting to clarify the timeline of when Gordon knew of parentage, to no avail. Later, while picking up Inc, they engage in a clearly preplanned conversation in which they discuss Gordon’s shared paternity results and Inc’s skepticism about the accuracy. It’s beating a dead horse to continue pointing out how inappropriate I find this whole thing to be — why are we now hearing about Inc spending quality time exclusively with the son whose paternity is alleged to be in question? — but what is striking is how even in a clearly rehearsed conversation, it is obvious that everyone involved is frustrated with Mia’s inability to maintain boundaries. Inc is looking for a single version of Mia that doesn’t exist yet; Gordon is looking to preserve a family dynamic that Mia is not interested in maintaining. Meanwhile, there are kids in this fiasco, watching adults fail to prioritize them as they publicly love out loud on Instagram.
Until now, Mia has remained on an island with Jacqueline, the personal embodiment of a pesky ingrown hair your waxer wasn’t able to catch. Stacey publicly flipping sides, however, gives her more ammo than she expected. Not only does she have an inside account of Karen’s antics, they can prepare to break up one of the most consistent alliances of the past two seasons, Karen and Wendy, who clung to each other when the cast was attempting to ice them both out. It is no secret that Karen is not a fan of Wendy — she made a point of insisting Wendy “wasn’t Potomac” when she first came on, claiming she’d made a mess of the board they were both on (a claim that Karen, as we find out, sticks by to this day).
Mia wraps up the episode by making an insightful point: The truth doesn’t expire. This season has been an effort in fact-finding. Is Karen really a drunk, or is this a persistent rumor? Is Stacey in a fantasyland, or is she really a shrewd operator of the camera? What, exactly, is happening in Mia’s marriage? When will Ashley come to terms with the reality of her marriage? For better or worse, we are getting answers to most of these questions, and judging by the previews for the finale, we are all going to be walking away scratching our heads a bit. The chaos comes to an uneasy conclusion next week. See you all then!
• Ashley is charming as a petite man! Her enthusiasm gives heavy “Tom Holland in a lip-sync challenge” vibes, and she clearly loves to thrill people; I could never in a million years imagine going topless with tassels in front of my friends, family, and potential new boyfriend. That said, as an avid fan of drag performance (on TV and in person), I have to dock her little showcase for not even attempting to lip-sync along to whatever song was playing. (I would assume the song we heard was what Bravo licensed and not what was playing in real time.) 10s on the board for charisma and nerve, but chops for uniqueness and talent. Still, a solid debut either way. Her silhouette moment behind the door? Charming and well executed, and Karen clearly got her thrills from that lap dance.
• It honestly hurts me to watch Keiarna get put through her paces in this relationship with Greg. It seems like a case of sunk-cost fallacy — Keiarna has been with him for two years and doesn’t want to walk away with nothing. Unfortunately, she has yet to recognize that Greg is clearly extremely insecure about his position in their dynamic and can prop himself up only by making her feel small, both on- and off-camera. It isn’t a shocker that he’s resistant to being on-camera given his field, but in that case, he has no business restricting a girl like Keiarna. If that is the image he feels the need to present, he should seek a partner with the same goal; otherwise, he will continue to punish Keiarna for her choices until they are both miserable.
• Every time Stacey discusses the choices she is making in her divorce, my face screws up a little more. If the desperate pleas of a lawyer and Ashley Darby can’t convince her that giving up child support in favor of preserving alimony is beyond asinine, I don’t know what will. She continues to insist that she knows her marriage while admitting she was not prepared for the recent financial disclosures. I can only pray that she doesn’t end up regretting this.
• I know there has been vocal frustration that Karen will not be at the reunion, but I am genuinely curious as to how the show plans on integrating the verdict into the finale. If I were to guess, they picked cameras back up to have the cast film their reactions to the news.
• Congrats on Wendy for landing a major guest for season two of the Wendy show. I still will likely never watch, but I’m happy she’s happy.
