Doechii said this week that finding her mononym stage name helped her overcome suicidal thoughts when she was a young teenager.
“I don’t want to get super-dark,” Doechii told The Cut in a cover story. “I was getting bullied so bad that I was thinking about killing myself.”
The rapper dated those thoughts to around sixth grade. “I realized, Oh, fuck, I’m gonna kill myself and then I’m gonna be the only one dead,” she continued. “The bullies aren’t gonna be with me, and everything they said is not coming with me either. I would just be gone.”
Then, the singer said a message from God appeared. “This wash of peace came over me, and I received ‘I am Doechii.’ But it was more like this feeling of — I made a choice, a decision. I am the most important character in this movie. This is my motherfucking movie,” she said.
Doechii, born Jaylah Ji’mya Hickmon, first rose to fame on TikTok following the success of her 2020 song, “Yucky Blucky Fruitcake.” Her third mixtape, Alligator Bites Never Heal, won best rap album at this year’s Grammys. She was only the third woman to ever take home the award.
“I put my heart and my soul into this mixtape. I bared my life,” she said onstage through tears. “I went through so much. I dedicated myself to sobriety, and God told me that I would be rewarded and that he would show me just how good it can get. And I have to thank God.”
The “Nissan Altima” singer also thanked her mother, her fans and her hometown. “I call myself the swamp princess because I’m from Tampa, Florida,” she said. “There’s so much culture in Tampa. Whenever people think about Florida, they only think about like Miami, but Tampa has so much talent. Labels, go to Tampa, there’s talent there.”
Elsewhere in this week’s profile, Doechii spoke about her oftentimes overtly personal lyrics, which critics have lauded on Alligator Bites Never Heal. “I have moments where I am worried and I’m like, Maybe I should dial it back because that’s a little too honest, but I don’t give a fuck because I know that in the end, it’s going to pay off more for me to be real,” she said. “In my music, I have to be raw and explicit or else it’ll make me uncomfortable. I don’t like secrets.”
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental-health challenges, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255
