At the very least, a Super Bowl commercial premise …
Photo-Illustration: Vulture; Photos: Getty Images (Taylor Hill, Gilbert Flores/Variety)
We can all tell that something’s wrong in the universe right now. A lot of things, really. I can’t solve most of them, but I do have one idea to right the cosmic balance just a touch. Reese Witherspoon and Kate Winslet need to make up.
Here’s the deal: The other day, People published an interview with Witherspoon and her You’re Cordially Invited co-star Will Ferrell. Between their ribbing, Witherspoon told the story of a moment that “literally haunts” her. “So this friend of mine, who I didn’t really know that well but she was a very serious, proper actress, she asked me to give her an award,” Witherspoon said. “But I had never been to this award ceremony, so I thought it was like a roast. So I got up and I roasted her.” Turns out, the event was “elegant” and “classy” — not the kind of place for Witherspoon to be joking about laser-hair removal. Witherspoon didn’t name the actress in question, but admitted they’re “not friends” and she “doesn’t talk to me anymore.”
So who could this grudge-holding mystery actress be? Thank God for the internet. Mere hours after the interview was posted, Just Jared cracked the case. The site tracked down a speech Witherspoon gave to honor Kate Winslet back at the 2007 BAFTA/LA Cunard Britannia Awards, reported on at the time by Glamour Reese Witherspoon (“the ultimate Reese Witherspoon fan experience since 2001”). Witherspoon remembered the day Winslet first rang her doorbell, shortly after moving to her neighborhood. In Witherspoon’s telling (and, per the fan site, with a British accent), Winslet said, “Dahling, Sam is off shooting, and I believe our children are the same age. Could they possibly have a playdate, and oh, by the way, it’s almost 9 o’clock and I’ve had nothing to drink, do you have any wine?” Witherspoon honored her friend’s “fearlessness” in films like Iris and Holy Smoke, while admitting that she couldn’t tell more stories because “they’re all too bawdy or tawdry or drunken.” Including, the fan site said, one about laser-hair removal. Ding, ding, ding! (Allegedly, I should say: Winslet’s team has not confirmed anything.)
This was a ceremony for the Los Angeles branch of the British Academy of Film and Television Arts, where Winslet was winning the Britannia Award for British Artist of the Year. Sounds like a big deal! And those Brits can certainly be old-fashioned.
But here’s the part that doesn’t make sense: At the beginning of 2007, they were the level of Hollywood acquaintances where you greet each other with kisses on the Golden Globes red carpet, as Just Jared noted. Now, they no longer speak?! Winslet sure had the right to be mad at her friend for embarrassing her in front of an esteemed industry group. But for years? When you’ve already shared so many bawdy, tawdry, and drunken moments together?
Imagine what we’ve missed out on in the last nearly 20 years: Buddy comedies! Kate starring in a middling adaptation of a Reese’s Book Club pick! Kate could’ve even returned the favor by embarrassing Reese at some stodgy American awards show! Instead, these two seem to barely cross paths, and the world is certainly worse off for it. World peace may be unattainable, but I can still dream of peace between these icons. Maybe they can patch things up in time to present together at the Oscars?
